Do What You Want

So, I am at a weird point in my life where I must decide whether I would like to stay in San Diego and fight to make it work or run back to AZ with my tail between my L'eggs.  Except I wouldn't be running away really, but going home to my family where life may be better for my children.  Ever since I was little I wanted to live by the beach.  I made it here by age 24 which is amazing as some people never do it in a lifetime.  I did not know marriage or divorce could go so incredibly wrong.  So, after fighting for my freedom from a controlling husband I find that now with a clear head...what is best for me is not always best for my children.  At least not exactly.  I still believe the divorce is best for everyone even if my ex and 2 sons disagree.  I don't know that living here in CA and fighting to be sure I have grocery money is the best course of action, though.  If my ex would get a job and help support the family then staying in San Diego would be the best option, but free will is a bitch I have come to find and you can't make anyone do a damn thing they don't want to. So, I will take that and make it my own and find my own way to finish what I started, which is take control of my life. It's just so ironic that I have tried so hard (and succeeded) to establish a life (home, family, friends, derby, job) of my own making only to *MAYBE* end up back where I started...